From Hell to Nightmare

Its been quite some time since I've written. Things were going pretty well for a short time. The anxiety, while still present, was running in the background and allowing me to live a semi-normal life. I'd still get waves of panic at a store now and again, but for the most part I was okay. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. I'd had a pain in my right side for 3 weeks and decided to see a doctor about it. She did a urine test which came back with trace blood and white cells - an indicator of a urinary tract infection. So she started me on Cipro, an antibiotic. My drug phobia made it hellish to take those pills, but everyone said "Its only an antibiotic, they don't hurt anyone." So I took them. It was a 3 day course. The first day was okay. The second day my anxiety was high and I was jittery. The 3rd day I started feeling flushed in my face and my vision became out of tune. I finished the medicine. An hour later I got a call from the doctor's office saying the urine came back negative for infection from the lab! I didn't even know they were sending it to a lab! I thought the test in the office was accurate or I would have waited for the results! So fine, I took a drug I didn't need to take. Problem is, 2 weeks later and I still have tingling and numbness in my face and distorted vision! I looked online and found a site with 7 pages of people who had lifelong debilitation from taking Cipro or Cipro-like drugs, one of which was the face and vision problems! Now I'm scared to death that this is how I'm going to be forever! I'm depressed beyond depression. If I could end my life today, I would do it. I am a walking nerve right now, have been for the last 2 weeks. I was so desparate for relief that I prayed for the first time in years - one of those sobbing, pleading prayers. If only there were a god to hear it. Who knew that hell had deeper, darker rooms than just the standard one.