Sigh

My hell continues. It's been lovely out, low humidity, sunny, not unbearably hot. The vegetation is lush, flowering things flowering, green things growing. And here I am, still suffering in my self-contained hell. My demons threaten me at every turn, they grab me by the throat, eat me from within, terrorize my days and nights. This is, indeed, a very bad time. I want so badly to feel good again. I want to live at peace within my body and mind. Is that asking too much? Does every minute have to be a struggle for sanity? Can the simple act of taking a walk not be just a pleasant outing instead of a dreaded ordeal that may end in disaster? Sigh...not today.